do you ever feel like there’s just so many pretty girls but most dudes are just subpar like there are radiant goddesses everywhere and just piles and piles of guys in backwards baseball caps and sandals
it’s called makeup
you can put eyeliner on a frat boy that doesn’t change the fact that’s he’s wearing a neon muscle shirt and nike flip flops
Me in junior high: We have calculators for a reason…
Math teacher: Do you really think someday you’ll carry around a calculator everywhere?
Math teacher: Exactly.
*10 years later everyone has phones with calculators*
Me: I win.
Alright, I’ll go make some muffins.
Godfrey Gao (x)
i hate it when people call me funny because I feel like I have to say something really funny again and I just can’t handle that pressure
fucked up shit by Hieronymus Bosch
This is a Tibetan Mastiff puppy
Have some fire. Be unstoppable. Be a force of nature.
in bathtubs full of
Charles Bukowski (via bittersweetsongs)
Wow bukowski so profound do you also bathe fully clothed you dickhead. “Oohh isn’t it funny that a person will eat when they’re hungry but will duck if you throw an apple at their face”